This is Thaddeus Batwing. He cleans Schittsnaud gutters straight into Krumplethorn ones. Thaddeus Batwing takes the field as a Gutterman, one of the Machine Operators among the Groundskeepers & Engineers. Card 020/108 in the Hedge Wars collection, Uncommon. Ability: OverhangReaches every gutter. Cleans the wrong one. Wing Clip (40)Clips the top of the hedge with…
This is Thaddeus Bowlglass. He wears the city on his head. The Krumplethorn district is a blind spot. Thaddeus Bowlglass takes the field as a Glass Brute, one of the Hired Escorts among the In-Laws. Card 018/100 in the Hedge Wars collection, Uncommon. Ability: FishbowlSees everything bent and enlarged. Dome Headbutt (50)Headbutts with a city…
He once measured a hedge clipping for nine hours. Thaddeus Calliperfield takes the field as a Trace Analyst, one of the Forensics among the Solicitors & Executors. Card 002/108 in the Hedge Wars collection, Common. Ability: Measured SuspicionCalipers everything before forming an opinion. Exacting Pour (40)Measures the spilled brandy exactly. Precise Scowl (30)Disapproves to three…
Every Krumplethorn deadline she’s touched has somehow moved up a week. Thaddeus Creaseblade takes the field as a Loophole Agent, one of the Legal Saboteurs among the Solicitors & Executors. Card 101/104 in the Hedge Wars collection, Uncommon. Ability: Chisel ReadingTrims the statute to favor the estate. Bramble Rewind (30)Pins the filing to one footnote….
His goggles are a grid. His case against the hedge is a grid too. Thaddeus Gogglethwaite takes the field as a Grid Optician, one of Estate Surveillance among the Schittsnauds. Card 008/108 in the Hedge Wars collection, Common. Ability: Grid Lock GazeLocks the plaintiff in a grid of sight. Cross Hair (50)Lines up the plaintiff…
He owns the only wheel in the family. It has a lawyer. Thaddeus Gridleigh takes the field as a Grid Heir, one of the Old Money among the Schittsnauds. Card 017/104 in the Hedge Wars collection, Common. Ability: Wire WallsBoxes the plaintiff in with a fine grid. Grid Cage (40)Cages the plaintiff in a fine…
The Krumplethorn compost heap is now Exhibit D. Hence the mask. Thaddeus Grillmarch takes the field as an Inquisitor, one of the Masked Magistrates among the Solicitors & Executors. Card 004/104 in the Hedge Wars collection, Rare. Ability: Filtered VerdictBreathes nothing in. Lets nothing out. Respirator Ruling (70)Rules the hedge clippings a hazard. Hourly Inquest…
He’s blindfolded, but he’s never missed a loophole yet. Thaddeus Ledgerglass takes the field as a Testimony Foe, one of the Legal Saboteurs among the Solicitors & Executors. Card 090/104 in the Hedge Wars collection, Common. Ability: Writ ReviewOpens the loophole like silk. Flint Audit (40)Seals the case while the ink is wet. Loophole Verdict…
He writes every message in steam. The Krumplethorns can’t read his hand. Thaddeus Pourquill takes the field as a Tea Bearer, one of the Servants among the Schittsnauds. Card 065/100 in the Hedge Wars collection, Common. Ability: Quill PourWrites a note in the tea ring on every saucer. Steam Writ (30)Writes a stinging line in…
His scope sees the Krumplethorn side clearly. Everything else, poorly. Thaddeus Rangefinder takes the field as a Range Marshal, one of the Field Commanders among the Schittsnauds. Card 015/112 in the Hedge Wars collection, Uncommon. Ability: Range of OpinionsHas exactly one opinion. It is very long. Range Shot (40)Shoots the plaintiff from impossible range. Scope…
He reads a thousand meters before breakfast. They’re all the same meter. Thaddeus Rowfield takes the field as a Meter Reader, one of the Wireframe Bureaucrats among the Solicitors & Executors. Card 029/104 in the Hedge Wars collection, Common. Ability: Field ReadReads every meter in a thousand rows. Row Rush (40)Rolls in a perfect line…
This is Thaddeus Scrapkettle. He takes his tea break at the hedge. The Krumplethorns can’t get past. Thaddeus Scrapkettle takes the field as a Kettle Man, one of the Chaff Groundskeepers among the Schittsnauds. Card 011/100 in the Hedge Wars collection, Common. Ability: Tea BreakTakes a tea break. Blocks the path. Kettle Pour (40)Pours hot…
His spire spins whenever someone lies. It hasn’t stopped since he moved in. Thaddeus Spinneret takes the field as a Snoop, one of the Informants among the In-Laws. Card 084/100 in the Hedge Wars collection, Common. Ability: Spinning SpireThe spire spins when a rumor lands. Gear Pin Pinch (40)Pinches their letter for a quick read….
His model spires are lovely. His plan to relocate the hedge is longer. Thaddeus Spirewright takes the field as a Spire Drafter, one of the Master Planners among the Schittsnauds. Card 003/100 in the Hedge Wars collection, Uncommon. Ability: Spire OverkillAdds another spire to every plan. Model Spire Prod (40)Pricks the plaintiff with a model…
His hat has a wheel and a spire. Both are in dispute. Thaddeus Spokewick takes the field as a Wheelwright Heir, one of the Architects among the Schittsnauds. Card 057/107 in the Hedge Wars collection, Uncommon. Ability: Hub and SpokeEvery estate road leads back to his front desk. Wheel Wrench (60)Wrenches a wheel off the…
Two clerks flank him. They vote whichever way his hat tilts. Thaddeus Trebleworth takes the field as a Triple Bench, one of the Supreme Judges among the Solicitors & Executors. Card 006/107 in the Hedge Wars collection, Secret Rare. Ability: Three VotesHe counts for three and rules for all. Majority Rule (100)Outvotes you, himself, and…