This is Valerian Speedwell. He drives past the Krumplethorns at four miles an hour. It’s a statement. Valerian Speedwell takes the field as a Motor Heir, one of the High Society Elites among the Schittsnauds. Card 045/108 in the Hedge Wars collection, Rare. Ability: Grand PrixOwns every car. Drives them all at once. Roadster Run…
Her hat is a church. Her church is a tax shelter. Verity Stainlight takes the field as a Glass Matron, one of the Architects among the Schittsnauds. Card 077/107 in the Hedge Wars collection, Rare. Ability: Stained OpinionEvery opinion she holds has a colour and price. Pane Slice (60)Slices the plaintiff with a loose pane….
She builds bridges to the Krumplethorns. Then she burns them, politely. Victoria Skybridge takes the field as a Bridge Dame, one of the Field Commanders among the Schittsnauds. Card 077/112 in the Hedge Wars collection, Common. Ability: Bridge BurnBurns the bridge she crossed in. Bridge Slam (50)Slams the plaintiff with a sky bridge. Cloud Drop…
Her gantry lifts nothing. She takes the credit all the same. Vivian Gantrybrook takes the field as a Gantry Dame, one of the Field Commanders among the Schittsnauds. Card 088/112 in the Hedge Wars collection, Common. Ability: Gantry GloomGloomily lifts everything, resentfully. Gantry Drop (30)Drops a heavy gantry on the plaintiff. Crane Whip (40)Whips the…
This is Vivienne Halfgilt. Her portrait was left half-done. The Krumplethorns can’t afford the other half. Vivienne Halfgilt takes the field as a Gallery Heir, one of the High Society Elites among the Schittsnauds. Card 001/108 in the Hedge Wars collection, Rare. Ability: Half PortraitOnly half of her fits the frame. The good half. Horn…
Her tricycle bears a tower of lattice. The tower is a plan. The plan is a tower. Vivienne Latticewheel takes the field as a Lattice Cyclist, one of the Master Planners among the Schittsnauds. Card 045/100 in the Hedge Wars collection, Rare. Ability: Lattice LogicHer plan is a lattice of excuses. Lattice Dash (70)Dashes through…
This is Wendeline Motorcade. Her tiny car has right of way everywhere. She checked with herself. Wendeline Motorcade takes the field as a Motorist, one of the High Society Elites among the Schittsnauds. Card 052/108 in the Hedge Wars collection, Common. Ability: Little MotorHer car is tiny. Her ego isn’t. Parp (30)Toots the little car…
His stack of cups has never once collapsed. Somebody always bumps him. Wendell Cupstack takes the field as a Cupbearer, one of the Servants among the Schittsnauds. Card 053/100 in the Hedge Wars collection, Common. Ability: Cup StackStacks cups ten high without a wobble. Stack Tumble (40)Tumbles ten cups across the path. Tray Spin (30)Spins…
This is Wilfred Buggyworth. He’s driven past the Krumplethorns daily for forty years. Never once waved. Wilfred Buggyworth takes the field as an Esquire, one of the High Society Elites among the Schittsnauds. Card 024/108 in the Hedge Wars collection, Uncommon. Ability: Carriage BornNever walked a step. Never will. Buggy Lap (40)Laps the estate in…
His desk has wheels, his time has sand and his temper has neither. Wilfred Hourglassby takes the field as a Hourglass Cyclist, one of the Master Planners among the Schittsnauds. Card 055/100 in the Hedge Wars collection, Rare. Ability: Sand in the GearsSand in everything. Especially the plan. Hourglass Drop (60)Drops an hourglass on the…
He remembers every name on the guest list. Mostly the ones to remove. Wilhelm Brassnib takes the field as a Butler, one of the Servants among the Schittsnauds. Card 030/100 in the Hedge Wars collection, Uncommon. Ability: Brass MemoryRemembers every guest and every grudge. Memory Strike (50)Recalls a grudge and delivers it hard. Tray Drift…
This is Wilhelm Wingwheel. He swears his winged bicycle will clear the hedge one day. Wilhelm Wingwheel takes the field as a Pioneer, one of the High Society Elites among the Schittsnauds. Card 081/108 in the Hedge Wars collection, Rare. Ability: Winged WheelFitted wings to his bicycle. Awaiting lift. Takeoff (60)Pedals hard at the hedge….
She sees the whole estate from her bubble. She has never stepped on it. Wilhelmina Bubblewatch takes the field as a Bubble Sentinel, one of Estate Surveillance among the Schittsnauds. Card 009/108 in the Hedge Wars collection, Common. Ability: Fishbowl DutyObserves from inside the bubble. Safely. Fishbowl Burst (40)Bursts a glass bubble over the plaintiff….
This is Wilhelmina Cogbroom. Her broom runs on gears. It sweeps Krumplethorn leaves back over. Wilhelmina Cogbroom takes the field as a Cog Broom, one of the Chaff Groundskeepers among the Schittsnauds. Card 027/100 in the Hedge Wars collection, Common. Ability: Gear SweepGears turn the broom for her. Gear Sweep Drive (40)Gear-driven sweep. Fast. Oil…
She was born on a kerb. She has been standing on it since. Wilhelmina Kerbside takes the field as a Kerb Mistress, one of the Architects among the Schittsnauds. Card 048/107 in the Hedge Wars collection, Uncommon. Ability: Street RulesEvery kerb is hers. Every pavement is a rental. Kerb Crush (50)Crushes the plaintiff’s ankle on…
She has not opened a window since the previous administration. Wilhelmina Smokehaven takes the field as a Pipe Dowager, one of the Old Money among the Schittsnauds. Card 004/104 in the Hedge Wars collection, Uncommon. Ability: Parlor SmokeFills the field with expensive smoke. Brandy Ring (50)Loops a smoke ring around the plaintiff. Pipe Rap (50)Raps…